108
The Body Electric
age now even after freezing the nerve—and we didn't. Therefore the
increase in current wasn't due to artifact—damage to the nerve by freez-
ing or touching it with the tube.
That settled it. Test after test had substantiated the direct-current
system. Now we had to see where the concept would lead us and try to
convince some of the Artifact Men along the way. We had lots of ideas
for further work, but now the first priority was to get some reliable
system of funding for ourselves.
I was continuing to have problems with the VA research office. After
I'd gotten my second grant from that source, I soon found out that to
have it approved and to be able to spend it were two different things. To
order supplies—even things as simple as test tubes or electrode wire—I
had to fill out a form and give it to the secretary of the research office.
She had to fill out another form and get it signed by the research direc-
tor. This form went to the supply service, where a clerk filled out a third
form to actually order the stuff. Well, my orders stopped getting filled.
In the process of complaining I made friends with the secretaries and
found out that the director was holding me up just by not signing my
forms. His secretary solved my problem. The director was a pro-
crastinator. A pile of papers would collect on his desk until his secretary
told him they had to be taken care of right away. Then he would sign
them all at once without looking at each one. His secretary, to whom I
owe a tremendous debt, merely slipped my requests back into the mid-
dle of the pile, usually late on Friday afternoon. Several times he visited
my lab, saw a new piece of equipment, and remarked, "I don't re-
member ordering that for you."
"You don't?" I replied sweetly. "We talked about it, and I had plenty
of money left in the grant, so you said okay." It was better than arguing
over each instrument, and I was careful not to overspend. I don't think
he ever caught on.
Soon I encountered a more serious threat, however. Between the VA
and the medical school I had a lot of bosses, and all of them were doing
"research." However, the research service's annual report showed that I'd
published more than all of my superiors put together on a few thousand
bucks a year, while some of them were drawing forty or fifty thousand.
I'd broken the old rule that you should never do more than your boss.
One of these fellows appeared in my lab one day. That was an event in
itself, since he'd never been a supporter of mine; in fact, our relations
were rather strained That day, however, he evinced great interest in
what I was doing and made me an "offer I couldn't refuse."
"How would you like to have as much money as you need?"